


On Baited Breath

by Frazi



Series: Councilor Shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Interspecies Romance, Post-Game(s), Rebuilding, Renegade Shepard (Mass Effect), Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:47:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23647195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frazi/pseuds/Frazi
Summary: Everyone thinks the war is the story, but sometimes the real story comes after the dust clears. Just a what-if Shakarian style.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Series: Councilor Shepard [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702432
Kudos: 37





	1. The Wait

**Author's Note:**

> Author Note: Wondered what it would be like if Shepard had to wait to hear from the Normandy instead.

Everything waits on baited breath when a villain dies.

What now?

If you think there is chaos before saving the world, you should see what surviving is. The promise of a brave new world. As I find the worlds changing and reshaping themselves to overcome the destruction of war I realize how wrong I was. We think the end of the war brings peace, prosperity and happiness. It doesn't. It brings broken, orphaned children in the care of half-empty horror-filled adults.

It left everything stagnant. Disconnected. Alone.

Earth had been hit hard. Banshees, monsters, Reapers, giant debris. Krogan, human, Turian, Salarian, Asari. Oh Asari. Homeless now. Everyone was hunkered down because the galaxies were stranded.

Thanks a lot Shepard.

If people thought the war was hard. They should try walking on metal limbs that grate against bone and tissue.

"How far is the repair work?"

The makeshift Galactic Council had convened on earth. Most of the high ranked officials that had survived along with the Destiny Ascension had been stranded in our system. It worked in everyone's favor to set up a home base on our war ravaged planet. Well every planet was war ravaged. I had no idea what Palavan was like, if Thessia was still even in one piece. I knew Tuchanka had fared well. Thank you Mama Maw.

So part of me felt the irony of playing host to the entire galaxy worth of pencil pushers. I just wanted the Citadel up and running so I could get them back there and out of my hair. I had no idea why I was still running the show. I really only wanted to go to that beach and lie there while the sun warmed my limbs. Then maybe it would hurt less to live.

"Shepard?"

Turning to the new Turian Councilor, I tried not to roll my eyes. "What do you want?"

He frowned, his mandibles twitching. "You could try and be a bit more agreeable." Poor guy. He'd been picked out of a hat until they Hierarchy could be reached. The last Councilor had wanted to be on the front lines. I almost missed that bastard. Almost.

The Asari Councilor sighed. "She can't." I really wanted to be nicer to her. She did lose her whole planet. Oh but she made it so hard.

The Salarian Delatrass grunted. "Same old Shepard."

I let her see my teeth in my feral grin. This one was too imperious and uppity with asking me to betray Wrex. As if. Slumping further in my chair, I picked up the data pad with the latest reports. "I did say pick someone else to play stand-in Councilor."

"Nothing could have made me happier," the Dalatrass grumbled with her arms crossed.

There was a sharp breath and I winced. Damn, I shouldn't have stuck my tongue out at her. Hackett would not be happy I was being bratty. But it was so damned hard with these three. They had pretty much given me a finger every time I saw them. Best to get this over with. "Fine so the Citadel is getting habitable. We haven't reached the presidium. Some of the silver strip is still standing. The outer wards have some areas with breathable atmosphere."

"And the keepers?" The Turian interjected. I should be nice to him, he hadn't been there.

"The club is still standing, if you can believe that. Parts of the life support system could come off line without maintenance…"

"Ah, Shepard?"

"Just let her finish," the Dalatrass snapped.

I took pity on him and raised my eyes to him. "The Keepers are gone. No signs of them. At all."

"What about the relay?"

What would it take for them to not rub this in my face? "You're going to have to let us put the old light speed engines into scouting ships."

Everyone spoke at once.

"If you had only consulted us before destroying the relays!" Yeah because the Crucible would have allowed me my last phone call.

"A Salarian would have found a way!"

"But it would take weeks to reach Pallaven!"

I choose to respond the the Turian. His was concern. Not whining. "As opposed to not?" I glared at him and stood, throwing the datapad on the stupid round table that was supposed to give each of us an equal footing. But I knew it for what it was.

"What would it take for you to take this seriously Commander?" The Asari glared from where she sat resplendent in her chair. Still imperious.

I met her eyes. "Complete the Council, bring the Quarian, Elcor, Krogan, Batarian, Hanar, Drell and the Volus."

"Commander Shepard," the Dellatrass began as if I was an idiot, but I cut her off.

"We never would have won this war if all of them hadn't stood beside us and I'm done playing your errand-boy until you find a bigger room because I do plan to find the Rachni queen rep and I WILL have everyone on board. NONE of you would be standing here if not for them." I let it sink in for a moment. When the old Council only stared back at me, I straightened from where I had practically climbed up on the table. If my war bones hadn't been aching, maybe I would have. "And lighten up. Go get laid." With a wide-toothed grin, I turned and stalked out of the make-shift Council chamber.

As I hobbled out of the building, I picked up my Omni-tool and pinged it for the hundredth time since I woke up this morning. It was a habit now. Come on Normandy. My limbs quaked when the signal bounced, but I let them carry me to the car.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. The New Gig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Change is inevitable. But it helps to have friends along for the ride.

CHAPTER 2

"Shepard, be reasonable!"

"Any ship. Anything space worthy." I walked through the hanger inspecting the silent beasts as Hackett trailed behind me.

"Please stop!" The old man caught my arm before I stumbled over a thick fueling tube and sighed. Fists clenched, I resisted the need to turn around and throw my arms around him. Because he wasn't Anderson. Because I really needed someone to hold me together. For moment I stood there, my skin prickling, my eyes hot. And Hackett seemed to sense how close I was to the precipice. He laid a gentle hand on my shoulder. It would have to be enough. I lifted my eyes to see him gazing at me with understanding and sympathy. No pity at all. It loosened the knot in my gut. "I know how you feel. We will find them."

"I can't…."

"You can." He caught both my shoulders and peered into my tear-brightened eyes. "I know you said you want to go to that beach, but we both know you'd only be obsessing over your omni-tool the whole time. You would go crazy, that's why it's important for you to be doing something."

"I don't want to be Councilor, Hackett. I'm not a politician."

"And that's exactly why we need you." He smiled sadly. "Look at what you've done in four months? We have a Hanar Councilor! More and more races are making contact with us because you're in the mix. You bright them together to save the galaxies, and now they're coming to you to rebuild it. This bigger than all of us now Shepard. You cannot leave in the middle of this to go look for the Normandy."

"They are my friends!" I jerked away from, then winced. "Dammit Hackett, you'd look for your family."

The scarred face tightened. "I did."

Something stilled inside me and I groaned, coming forward to place my hand against his shoulder this time. "God, I'm sorry. I renegaded through his whole mess and it's hard for me to tune it down. Shit Hackett, it's all that's gotten me through this. I didn't mean…"

He touched my hand on his shoulder and took a deep fortifying breath. "I know. Just…" he seemed to search for the words for a moment, "keep the faith."

I worked better with a flame thrower. I had no idea what to do with faith.

_____________________

I still had nightmares. Not the one with the kid; I put that one to rest. But I saw them all. Kaiden. Liara. Garrus. Tali…oh god. Mordin. EDI…shit. Their faces haunted me and I survived on stims and caffeine.

The apartment I'd been given was all mine. People all around earth had been sharing accommodation with the wounded, the stranded, the orphaned. It felt wrong to be privileged, but I had taken it with a pinch of salt. I might not have had people walking around me. But the demons were there.

And the constant screech and ringing of Reapers.

I awoke with a start, sweat suffusing over every inch of me. Reaching blindly for the bottle of water on my nightstand, I drained it in one breath before gasping and coming out of bed. I was undressing and hallway to the shower to wash away the madness when I saw the glow of my omni-tool. It was almost tempting to tell the Council to go fuck themselves. But Hackett kept pulling me back towards sanity. His reminder to keep the faith.

And when I padded over to the glow to see just whose name was on the tiny display, my knees gave away. They slammed hard into the hardwood floor. The jarring pain was enough to throw stars of unconsciousness before my eyes, but I was already reaching forward to put my fingers on the name 'Joker' before I could slip away.

"Shep, can you hear me?"

And the tears took my voice from me.

"Shep?! Shepard!? Is that you!?"

_______________________

Rebuilding was such a pain. Everything was chaos. The make-shift council had more arguments than anything. Through it all, little survived that would keep me amused. I couldn't shoot anything. I couldn't kill anything and worst of all, I had to wear a dress.

"Looking sharp Commander."

I scowled at the man who would have been my world, if he didn't have his head up his Specter ass. Kaiden was as handsome as ever, but he was also too damned eager for my old bones. It was a complement, I reminded myself. I should have smiled. As it were, he only blushed and cleared his throat as I took my seat at the Council table.

As I let my eyes slowly go over the people gathered around me, I now understood why Hackett had put me here. I connected almost everyone making plans to rebuild our worlds.

Ironically enough, it was the Shadow broker that set any decent communication system. They bounced signals off of makeshift relays set up on their ships as they spread across the galaxies. All under a salient proprietary name. Miranda had added her own Cerberus band of expertise to Liara's fast growing team.

I could never describe the feeling as I stood on the old airport watching the bruised, battered Normandy spill my not so bruised nor battered crew on the tarmac. The old girl had kept them safe. I wanted to run forward and kiss her. Joker might have minded.

So I had held my jaw, the crazy swirl of tear jerking relief and then Liara had thrown her arms around me. If she wasn't one of my best friends I would have gone biotic god on her blue ass. But she was and I had wanted them back so badly.

Eventually Garrus had lifted me in his arms and carried my exhausted, cried out self to the transport.

Shaking myself out of the memory I watched as Wrex's face flickered from where he was connected from Tuchanka, Eve beside him. Shiala, the Asari representing the Rachni Queen was in her seat, as green as ever. Admiral Shala'Raan sat primly in her chair. The Batarian, Drell, Elcor and Hanar councilors I did not recognize, but I saw Javik looking unhappy from where he was asked to advise. I almost grinned at how things had turned out. Now part of Liara's crew (much to my friends breathless glee) he kept looking at the Hanar and shaking his head about 'single cell idiots'.

I grinned. I had put in the names as recommendation and not only had nearly everyone accepted, they had been agreed upon unanimously.

But stacked as it was in my favor, the icing on the cake was the Turian Councilor. One blue painted Garrus Vakarian sat beside me looking as bored and antsy as I did.

There was a god.

"So…we're moving into the Citadel. Do I get a lakeside window?"

"Wait what?" I jerked out of my thoughts to blink at what Garrus had said. His brow plate raised as if he knew I'd spaced out and grinned.

"They're sending us back up to the charred hunk of metal in the sky. How very thoughtful of them. There's even a welcome party."

My mouth parted as my heart sank. Oh god. A party meant music. Mingling and possible chances to…choke…small talk.

"There, there, Shepard." Garrus patted my hand. "You won't have to dance."

"Shut up Vakarian."

"So it's decided." The Asari Councilor rose. "We will have the swearing ceremony along with a memorial service in the new Council Tower. It is time to officially open the Citadel to everyone."

Something trembled inside me and I felt my breath hitch as Garrus' hand wrapped around mine and squeezed. "Breathe Shepard. This is all you."

__________________

TO BE CONTINUED...


	3. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So how would a socially awkward, PTSD ridden ex-commander handle festivities? With her favorite Turian on the arm, of course. But things don't always work out the way you want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could have easily been a one shot to be honest. But the length means I had more fun writing it. Thanks to all who are reading and hitting the heart.

CHAPTER 3

* * *

This is outrageous!"

Miranda huffed from where she was going over her data pad with my test results. "Your scans are all clear. The cybernetics seem to be responding well."

They'd come to help me become decent enough for a 'public' soiree and to help pack what little belongings I had in the makeshift apartment. To be honest, I wasn't heartbroken about leaving Earth. Even if I would be able to see it outside my window until they managed to steer the Citadel again. I'd spend my whole life on a shit-hole of a colony and even that I couldn't care less about. Because Slavers – yeah.

"I refuse to do this!"

Liara was sipping something pink and sparkly on my couch as she flicked earth channels and muttered about nothing decent being on.

"Death first!"

Both women turned to me with narrowed gazes. It was Liara who finally sighed and put down her drink before making her way to where I stood stubbornly in front of the full length mirror. "Jane, they are just shoes."

I wielded the torture devices with the pointy end in her face. "THIS is not a shoe. THIS is a weapon."

"Then it should be completely up your alley." Miranda came over and pull the suede heels from my gasp and carefully primped them back into shape. "Mmmm, soft. They seem terribly comfortable."

"Said the dominatrix who kills mercenaries on heels."

Liara took my shoulders and gently maneuvered me onto one of the seats as Miranda put them down in front of me. "You are a diplomat now. More than that, you're the face of all humanity in all the galaxies. I don't think you can do that in your N7 armor."

"It worked when I was saving their collective asses."

"Come on Commander," Miranda put her hand on her hip and glowered at me. "It's just a party. Just a few hours. You didn't sweat that excursion with Kasumi and the leather dress."

"The what?" Liara perked up.

I was mentally ripping perfect Miranda's hair out while she launched into the entire episode of me forgetting to cross my legs while wearing a dress. What the hell was I supposed to do? The leather trap hadn't let any air in otherwise!

Gritting my teeth, I mustered up what was left of my bravado and slipped my feet into the contraptions that would give me at least three inches. As I stood, my entire world tilted and Liara yelped before wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Uh…I think she's going to need an escort."

I blinked up at her. "Huh?"

"Someone's arm to keep your balance?"

Horror filled my veins as Miranda brought up her omnitool. "I hope Alenko has a suit."

"Don't you dare!" I snatched at her, but the woman grinned manically and stepped out of my reach.

If the heels didn't kill me, I knew their supposed 'help' in getting a life, would.

* * *

The swearing in of all the Council members hadn't been so hard. Mostly quiet clapping, maybe a cheering explitive or two. Thanks Jack. There was a small memorial service for the ones we'd lost. There had been tears. I mostly motored through them in silence. Through both the ceremony and the service. Garrus had slid one arm around my shoulders at one point and something had unwound itself slowly. "Meet me at the bar," he murmured into my ear and I burst out laughing.

The Delatrass swearing in the new members forgot her lines.

Oops.

The party? It was insanity. My face hurt from trying to smile so hard. All I had wanted to do, since the moment Kaiden escorted me into the huge hall, was run away. People greeted me with various sentiments from condolence, to congratulations, gratitude, a mating request, some autographs to blunt awe.

I had mostly only shuttled from the hospital to the council chambers to my apartment in the past year. To be faced with so many people sent ants crawling under my skin. Amid the party goers I saw Garrus surrounded, but managed to meet my eyes a few times and offer me a smile, even a raising of his glass. But there was really no room to mingle. Or even escape.

"Would you like a drink Com..er…Jane?"

And yeah. There was my escort. I took a deep fortifying breath and turned my saccharine smile to the man who's arm I clung to as if my life depended on it. And it did. "If you so much as take a step away from me, I will biotic slam you out of the window."

Kaiden's eyes widened. "Wow, I almost forgot how violent you can be."

Narrowing my eyes on him, I snorted. "You did dump me two years ago. Wait a while; it'll catch up on you."

Flushing, the man cleared his throat and looked around as people milled around us of all race and color. "Ahem. I…uh…well I did try to…on Mars, but you…"

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "Comparing me to a Cerberus Husk was trying?" He flinched almost like I'd hit him. Maybe I had. I felt like a heel. Painful and wicked as the one I was wearing. With a sigh, I touched his hand. "Yes Kaiden, I would like a drink. I will do my best not to talk about carnage or reave or anything on our way to bar. Just don't let go of my hand until we get there."

Clearing his throat, he slid a finger into the collar of his collared shirt. "Appreciate it." But he didn't seem at all placated by my promise. I supposed it was pointless to pretend at this anymore. When he maneuvered me to the stool, I fell into it more exhausted than when they'd found me under the Citadel rubble.

We ordered drinks, but neither of us had anything to say. So we were both grateful when a fellow Spector came to ask Kaiden for a chat. Letting out a deep breath, I eyed the door and wondered how far it was.

"I'll distract them, you make a run for it."

Smiling, I turned to see Garrus leaning his elbow on the bar beside me, his trusty blue visor flickering, his mandibles spread into a grin. "Thank god for you." And I meant it. It had become infinitely easier having him beside me. Where Liara was too shadowy to be around, Wrex king of all things Urdnot and Miranda still untrusted for her Cerberus connections, having Garrus around chased away the mad whispers to damn it all and hide under my bed.

"It's the scars, remember?" My Turian friend smirked and slid a hand over his crest in a pin-up poster 'Turian' come hither.

Bursting out laughing, I swiveled my stool around to face him, chin in my hand as I cleaned my elbow next to him. "Uh huh. Do women usually fall for that?"

"Yes…um…and this voice." He rumbled low and leaned closer with a wink.

Shoulders shaking, I took his hand. "So what's the plan, partner?"

Head tilting around, he let his eyes scan the crowd around him before pulling me to my feet. "We might have to be discrete. Think you can keep up?"

My eyes widened when I realized where he was pulling me. I felt my heel dig in as I resisted. "What are you doing?"

"Dance with me Councilor Shepard."

"Garrus, don't you dare…"

Turian strength be damned, I was already dragged and swung into his arms on the dance floor as people made room for us. "You're going to pay for this Vakarian," I ground under my breath as he pulled me closer, one hand wrapped around mine as the music flowed easily around us. A few people smiled. Some rolled their eyes. There was a glare or two. I saw Kaiden's agape mouth as Garrus carefully and perfectly spun me around in an easier, albeit unsteady version of the waltz.

"Promises, promises Councilor. Besides, after seeing you dance no one will remember you weren't around for later."

"I hate you."

Circling us carefully and as skillfully as he could with a woman who had two left feet stuffed into three inch heels, he met my eyes resolutely. "Haven't really had a time to talk since before the last push."

I wanted to melt into a mushy little puddle for a moment. Like those kids who held out until they got home and then fell into a slobbering mess the moment their mother said 'hi honey'. But it was true. We hadn't had time to talk to each other. And after the Normandy's return, I'd barely had time to meet them all at once, what to talk of individually. Truth is, there were very few people I had leaned on during the Reaper war. Liara and Garrus has been two of three. The third was my pilot and he was so hard to bring to the ground. Where Liara and Miranda checked in on me regularly, the council had been keeping Garrus and I pretty busy for the past months. So yeah.

I didn't realize how much I had missed him until he said the same. Not in so many words, but I knew.

"God Garrus, what am I doing?"

"Your best, as always."

Lifting up weary eyes, I met his blue gaze. "I really thought there'd be a beach. And maybe an umbrella. A lemonade."

"Wide brimmed hat?" He grinned.

My chuckle was halfhearted and sardonic. "Maybe. Mordin collecting shells by the water."

It was jolting. His hands tightened on me, his growl reverberating through me and the crowd around us. I stared up at him as my best friend turned Councilor turned Archangel. The glare he leveled at me sent chills down my spine as he stepped away, wrapped one hand around my wrist and unceremoniously dragged me out of the hall. Amid the murmurs of surprise he pulled me out onto one of the balconies beyond the windows.

"Garrus?"

"Are you really that sorry you survived?"

Startled, I stumbled against the railing. Eyes darting to a group of people huddled on the other end of the balcony, I looked up at the hunkering Turian now baring down on me. To my horror, Garrus sent another snarl at the other occupants of the balcony and they went scuttling in without a backward glance. Something heated inside me and I felt a confusing little hitch in my breath as Garrus swung his blue eyes back to me. And pinned me.

He didn't speak and I knew he was waiting for an answer. I hadn't spoken to anyone since I'd been back. There had been prompts but I had no reason to speak of my nightmares and weariness. The need to just crawl into a hole and disappear.

I could biotic slam him and stalk off, but if anyone understood my renegade need to bite or avoid, it was Garrus.

The breath left me in a whoosh and I hadn't realized I'd been holding it. "Shit Garrus. It's just so hard."

"So what else is new?"

I glared up at him, arms crossing defensively. "Is this your idea of a pep talk?"

"We didn't survive gigantic death machines bent on mass extinction to wish for an easy death now."

"Why not?"

With a snort he threw up his hands and leaned into my face. "Stop the bite and avoid. Tell me why you'd rather be with Mordin, or Ash, or Anderson for that matter? When we are still here. When Kaiden is here."

I couldn't help the scowl as I turned to look out to the half devastated Citadel around me. The party inside might have made it seem as if everything was all better. But the scars would never go away. "Kaiden is not here."

"Uh…he's right there!"

I grabbed his arm when he went to peek back inside and pulled him away from the light of the window. "Seriously. Why does everyone…" Gritting my teeth, I looked up at him with a deep breath. "It feels wrong without them. Without Edi…Joker is…" It still hurt to say here name. Synthetic or not, she'd been a part of my crew. She'd fought beside me, had my back, steered my ship, saved our asses countless times. To see her reduced to her old VI programming, was like knives under my nails.

Tali had told me how she and Garrus had managed to patch her up enough to at least steer the Normandy back to earth. Her platform now lay silent.

Something broke inside me when Garrus' rough palm slid against my cheek and I closed my eyes, leaning into it. "Joker is healing. We all are." He murmured, his arm looping around my waist. "Please Jane. It is over." His mouth pressed against my temple and everything inside me exploded into light and smoke. I couldn't help the hiss of breath as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. "You're home. Please just breathe."

And I finally let the baited breath go. Slowly, the shaking, shuddering and maddened whispers calmed. The insane hold I'd had on myself eased and I finally got the hug I'd been waiting months for. The reassurance. The acceptance. My smile turned into giggles when I realized it had come from the one comrade who had never left my side. Not for anything. "Getting cuddly Vakarian?"

I could feel his smile against my temple. "Shut up Shepard."

Giving him one last squeeze, I pulled away to look up into his blue eyes, the face of my favorite Turian now filling my vision. Chasing everything else away. "I couldn't have done this without you Garrus."

"Sure you could have," he reminded me with a wink before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear affectionately.

"Just not as stylishly," I chimed with him and we laughed. Leaning up I kissed his mandible and grinned when they fluttered out and his eyes widened in shock. Perhaps he could begin anew as I did. It wasn't like hold times. Not anymore. "We'll be seeing a lot of each other now."

"Yeah," he drawled low under his breath and recovered with a smirk. "Not like I've been on your six for five years."

He had.

Swallowing the sudden flare of fear and excitement, I held out my hand. "Just no more impromptu dances please."

There was a flicker of something warm and beautiful in those blue eyes before he grasped my hand firmly. "I make no promises, Councilor Shepard."

Going back to the party my new life was suddenly easier.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	4. The Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was always a part of her crazy. Now he's a part of her normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the very short chapter. But they sorta took it away from me.

CHAPTER 4  
__________________

Normal life for me was a farce. I'd been a soldier all my life. To be maneuvering through political drama: it itches like bitches. So many things to do and too many steps to do them. It did help that most of the Council members now were doers. It made putting up with the Asari and Delatrass Councilors easier. They still retained a few 'old school' ideals about how the Council operated.

It was also hilarious to have Javik sit in on council meetings remind everyone how infinitesimal and puny we had been in his time. Way to put things in perspective.

Through it all it helped to see that Garrus and I shared the need to get out in the field now and then. Even a scouting mission would have been welcome. We shared our need to get off station mostly when we met after work over a few drinks.

"You can't be serious! Those Quarians would never have made it past the bridge if I hadn't downed that Colossus."

"You!" I threw my napkin at the snickering Turian and took another sip of my milkshake. "I was kicking its legs out from under it even before you lined up your shots!"

Garrus leaned back languidly in his chair and smirked. "But I took the kill shot," he purred.

Rolling my eyes, I let my gaze run over the café and blinked when I saw a Turian female very clearly checking out my companion. "Mmmm. Speaking of which; there's a very spiky Turian lady with you in her sights."

The languid Turian Councilor suddenly gave a nervous trill and sat up straighter, the action making me smile which I carefully concealed behind my hand. "Way to be a lady killer Vakarian."

"Shut up Shepard," he grumbled and discretely turned his head to find he was indeed being ogled. "Damn." Swiveling around he seemed antsy.

"Garrus," I gently called out to him, unable to hide the smile. "What's going on with you?"

"I don't…" There was a soft whine, before he hunched over the table as if trying to disappear. "Spirits. I was really hoping to have a quiet dinner and a drink."

Looking up, I saw the female take a step towards us and I reached out and took my friend's hand with a lot more affection than was necessary. Garrus gave a start as I sifted my lips across his knuckles and sure enough, the Turian female paused then seemed to curse and disappear. Grinning up at him, I placed his hand back on the table and leaned back in my chair. "There. Crisis averted."

When Garrus only stared back at me slack jawed the odd effervescent confusion began to build in my gut. Brow furrowing, I crossed my arms. "What now?"

"Did you just…"

"Save you from being hit on? Yah!" I scoffed and looked away to see a few people watching us attentively. Equal parts awe and shock. "Fuck."

"Ahem." Garrus shifted in his seat before he was back to his sprawl, his mouth twisted into a wicked little Turian grin. "I think you've saved me from being hit on _ever_ again."

I wanted to crawl into a little hole and die. This time though, for entirely different reasons.

And I couldn't stop blushing.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	5. The Unresolved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because every story needs Joker.

Joker was crashed on my couch and I had no idea how to coax him out the door. He'd shown up at my apartment and I'd nearly had a heart attack. Edi's platform was walking and talking. And as much as it was better than nothing, it was weird. Joker said she was assisting him with getting around, but I could see him cling to hope. I'd spoken with Tali more than once. Her people were slowly and painstakingly trying to work the Geth online. But it would take time. And only then would she be able to see if it could also be done for Edi.

As it were, the new Edi stood dutifully beside the couch, silent and in 'stand by' as her owner, master, lover, whatever the hell they were now, slept. Guilt ate at me for leaving him so alone in the world, but also saw the resilience that made him so special. My broken little wing. Always looking on the bright side.

"She's staring at me."

"Shepard, honestly."

"I'm telling you Karen, her eyes are following me." Like she blamed me. Which was crazy. Crazy was also my middle name.

Karen Chakwas sighed on the other end. "How're his vitals?"

"I don't know! He's passed out on my couch. Drunk! And the Edi that is not Edi is keeping vigil. It is creepy as all hell!"

She was still busy working on refugees and veterans at a hospital in Karachi. It would have been easier if she had been at Huerta. She had a way with Joker that even I couldn't. "I'm still stationed here for a few days. He has no other relatives."

I flinched when I realized I probably sounded like I wanted him gone. I had mis-communicated my intention and it shamed me. I spread one of my soft blankets on him. He mumbled something unintelligent before settling in. "Oh. I didn't mean…I know he doesn't." Taking a shaky breath, I chose my words carefully. "Tell me what to do."

"Hot chocolate when he wakes up. With a little hair of the dog that bit him."

A chuckle and I shook my head. "Seriously?"

"Seemed to work when we lost you."

Something stilled inside me. "He was like this when I…"

"Blamed himself something fierce. Oh Shepard, by now, you should know how special you are. To us all."

"Bye Karen."

The doctor laughed at my grumble of discomfort. Yeah, I didn't really know what to do with her love. Or anyone else's for that matter. Not anymore. "Good bye Shepard."

Hanging up, I huffed and dialed another number. "Vakarian, I have a Councilor favor."

"Mm…Jane?"

I frowned at the audio feed. "Are you in bed?"

There was a grunt and a shuffle before the video came on. Eyes still squinting, a soft white glow from his screen illuminating his plates. "I was," his tongue snaked our to lick the edge of his mouth plates almost like a scratch and my skin prickled. Whoa. Why did it still shock me that he was alien? And in entirely new ways. Then his eyes seemed to focus on me and he raised a brow plate. "What's the favor?"

Blinking out of my staring state, I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry…I didn't know…"

"Shepard?"

I blinked when he used the older, calmer moniker. One that implied he was being tolerant. I liked it better when he called me Jane. I glared at him as if it was his fault I had suddenly become tongue-tied. "Hot chocolate."

The Turian chuckled, a husky sleepy sound as he put his temple against his fist. "Yes, they do say my voice is better than hot chocolate."

Something uncoiled in my chest and I rolled my eyes. "Down boy. It's for Joker."

Garrus' mandibles fluttered in surprise before he cleared his throat. "Ahem. Ah! Didn't know you felt that way about Joker's voice."

Huffing out a breath, I held up a choice finger. "He's passed out drunk on my couch. Karen said it the best way to cheer him up in the morning. With a hair of the dog of course. Stop preening."

My Turian friend let out a slow breath and leaned back in his chair, disappearing in the darkness for a moment. I stared at the silhouette as he ran a hand over his plates, almost…relieved? Frowning, I leaned forward. "Garrus?"

"I will assume you will explain how dog hair will fix this. Later. When I'm more awake." Coming back into the light he grinned. "So I'm hunting around for levo chocolate?"

"Because I'm not the chocolate type. I wouldn't even know where to find it."

"I know. You're the chili type." I waited patiently for him to agree and he sighed. "Fine. I know a guy. I'll have some sent over first thing in the morning."

Leaning back in my own chair, I smiled at him. "Thank you."

He watched me silently for a moment, a strange little smile on his face. A strange peace. Eventually it stirred my blood so I shifted in my seat and called him out on it. "And?"

"I didn't say anything," he drawled lazily.

"If you must know, we didn't lament. We just watched vids and talked about comic books."

"Vids? How normal." Garrus' smile grew. "Sooo...Nothing morbid?"

"If you don't think showing up with a zombie Edi morbid, then no. Did you know about this?"

He winced and ran a hand over his face plates, as if clearing away the memories. "Yeah, she's ah…Spirits Jane. We didn't have the heart to tell him. This is Joker."

"Oh I get that. Just thanks for the warning, _friend_ ," I scowled.

"Sorry. I didn't think he'd be parading it..her around."

"He called her a help-bot."

"Damn." The Turian scratched his mouth plate again with the tip of his tongue and I took a sharp breath. Frowning, he tilted his head. "Everything okay Jane?"

"I…uh…gotosleepVakarian."

Confused with my sudden curt and rushed tone, Garrus leaned forward to say something else, but I hung up on him.

Dammit, why did it feel like I'd drunk dialed him? Sliding a hand over the weird flutter in my stomach and cursing the noodles I'd pigged out on, I made my way to bed.

Tomorrow, I reminded my wandering mind. I was so done with today.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	6. The Email

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Renegade Shepard cannot always be trusted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear Garrus takes this away from me every time!

I stared at the email a thousandth time. I'd received one such email before as well. True, at the time I'd been so pissed I'd put my fist through the ship wall. Kelly had nearly screamed. Now seated in my office, my assistant biting her lip, poised for flight, I didn't know what I should throw.

Not only did it incense me beyond reason for the lack of courtesy, but I had no idea how to feel. When I did; I wanted to shoot stuff. "Laila?"

My assistant jerked then stood her ground. "Uh…yes, Ma'am?"

"Did they manage to salvage the Armax Arena?"

Thrown by my question, he checked her data bad before nodding. "I think it's scheduled to open in two weeks."

"Find the manager. I need it tonight." Standing from my chair, I activated my Omnitool. No way I was doing anything on email. "Kaiden?"

"Sh…Jane?" Dark eyes widen, the man rubbed the back of his neck, obviously not expecting my call. Good. "How are you?"

"Great. You want to meet up tonight?"

He stared, a little open mouthed. "Uh…yeah. Are you sure?"

I frowned at him. "Why would I call you if I'm not? Meet me at 8 sharp at the Armax Arena."

"The what!?" His stare turned to a bug-eyed panic. "Bu...but why?"

I grinned widely at him. "What's the matter Specter? Scared?"

He floundered for a moment before hardening his beautiful jaw. "I'll see you there."

Laila watched me grin manically as I gathered papers, signed data pads. "Uh…Councilor Shepard."

I looked up at her and marginally restrained my crazy grin. "Yeah?"

"I…uh…had the impression he wanted a date." She gingerly spoke obviously expecting me to go off like a rocket.

He had. His exact words had been to talk and start fresh. More than that he was willing to overlook any past issues we might have had. Well I might have had a few he still didn't know about. It was just as well. Miranda and Liara hadn't shut up about how I had left him at the swearing-in party. How I hadn't called him back after making my escape with Garrus. Girl talk aside, it was time to figure this out one way or another.

"This is how I date," I grunted and picked up my next report. The light-speed engines were making scouting difficult but we'd managed to send aid to as many human colonies as we could reach. There was a few more mating requests, one insistence that I needed a consort. My reply was as eloquent as I could be with two words.

I glanced at the clock and settled down to finish as much paperwork as I could in two hours. I couldn't wait to see Kaiden now.

###

When I got home it was nearly midnight. My door opened and then I froze on the threshold. The lights were on. Someone else was here. My rifle was still in my hand and I leveled it before stepping inside cautiously, my heart beat hammering, my adrenaline high. I did not need this after the night I'd had.

Garrus walked into the living room from the kitchen and froze.

"Garrus!?"

Slack jawed he stared at the barrel of the riffle in his face. "Spirits Jane! Is that…"

Jerking my rifle down, I smacked my hand on the door panel to seal it behind me before stalking into my living room, depositing duffel and riffle as I went. "Are you out of your mind!"

Garrus' blue eyes slid over me, his visor flickering as he probably took stock of my injuries, my vitals.

"Are you reading me!?"

Startled at the pitch of my voice, he blinked before meeting my gaze with a frown. "You're hurt. Is he dead?"

"Stop reading me! Take that thing off!" I almost reached out to snatch at his visor, but Garrus had already yanked it off, his mandibles arcing open as he growled low at me.

"Jane…"

"How the hell did you get in here?"

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Did you just hack my door!?"

"Did you just engage a Specter!?"

For a moment, we stood there, both in each other's faces, both furious with each other. And then I realized Garrus was in his Councilor garb. He probably came straight here. Which meant he'd been worried about me. Taking a step away from him, I closed my eyes and willed my adrenaline to come down. To calm the fire Kaiden had lit in my blood. "He's not dead." I glowered at him before kicking my boots off and walking around the island to my kitchen and pouring myself a glass of water. "Way to give me no credit."

"You strong armed the Armax manager to open the Arena for you. You invited Kaiden down there to beat down his ass, not exactly sound judgement Jane. What the hell did you want me to think?"

I downed every last drop of water before turning to face him where he stood behind me in the little kitchen. Damn maybe he was too big. "We talked, okay?"

"No it's not okay." Something exploded into color around me when Garrus stepped closer. The kitchen really was too small. My back hit the fridge behind me and my breath seemed to stall somewhere beneath my sternum. "Laila was beside herself. People were asking what you're up to." He wasn't angry. He wasn't even pushing. What the hell was up with my skin! It seemed to warm the closer her came. "You're a councilor now Jane, you can't do this anymore."

I gawked up at him. "Are you serious right now? This is you talking?"

"It's YOU talking," Garrus snapped, his eyes flickering darker. My head tilted back when he came to tower over me. "When you didn't let me shoot Harkin."

I needed my anger, but the words sounded petulant when I threw them at him. "You headbutted him!"

"You headbutted a Krogan!" Garrus snapped then drew a deep, calming breath through his nose and for a moment, I felt him almost lean into me. But he seemed to realize where we'd gotten. This wasn't the cargo hold, or the main battery. We couldn't spar and relieve any tension here. Here. The tension had to be dealt with. "It was stupid just the same," he reminded me, gentler this time and my breath seemed to sigh out of me when he lifted a hand and touched the bruise on my temple. "Does he need a medic? Dammit Jane, I don't want you in any trouble."

More in control of myself, I swatted his hand away with a huff. "We worked things out. I'm not in trouble."

"You are." He reached out and held both my shoulders, peering down into my face. "When you invite your ex-boyfriend to a shooting match. It's trouble."

I grit my teeth and took a deep breath. "He's fine. I'm fine. Go home." Wrenching myself out of his grasp, I turned to walk away when I heard the door open.

"Garrus?" Liara called out. "Did you find her?"

Head snapping around, I looked at Garrus incredulously. He called Liara.

"I swear that woman needs a collar…wait. Is that a RIFLE!?"

Miranda's voice was the icing on the cake as my brain imploded. Now Garrus is a smart guy. His eyes widened marginally as he held up his hands. "I can explain."

"Are you KIDDING me right now?"

Liara and Miranda paused in the entrance to the living room. "Oh oh."

"OH OH!?" I spun on them. "Are you three for real!?" The fury was turning to panic as I realized what this was. Oh god, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

Then two more voices joined in. "What the fuck cheerleader; I thought you said she'd be in tears."

I watched with growing dread as Jack came to prop her elbow on Miranda's shoulder and Joker waved from behind. "Whoa, Garrus is not wearing his visor. Someone take a picture!"

Slowly, dangerously I turned back to the Turian tattle tale. He only smiled tremulously and shrugged.

It was an intervention. And I really wanted to be in tears, instead I threw my head back and laughed myself into a stupor.

Ten minutes later, I called Kaiden and he brought the rest of the party. Just like old times.

It was almost morning and my mind was switching between what was available of my motley crew sprawled in my living room and the party we'd thrown before hitting the Reapers. The surreal haze of dream and reality gave me a headache, so I opened my window and climbed out onto the balcony. The Citadel lights were still sparse and separated, but at least the air didn't smell like dead bodies and ash anymore.

"Was that really necessary?"

Leaning my arms on the railing, I didn't bother turning to him. "I could ask you the same thing."

My Turian friend leaned his elbows on the railing beside me and rumbled thoughtfully deep in his chest. Turning my head, I peered at him as the artificial light in the presidium emulated an early dawn. "You know you're not alone Jane."

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. "You know if it were anyone else but you giving me this lecture, I'd be admonished. But we both know, you'd have done the same, Archangel."

He sighed deeply. "Oh I'm not a very good Turian, remember?"

"Not from where I'm standing."

Startled blue eyes snapped to me and held.

I bit my tongue. Dammit. Shouldn't have had that last beer. "I…Kaiden and I…"

"You're done." He said softly, his eyes flickering over my face. "I see that."

A taut, waiting part of me I hadn't known seemed to sigh and relax. I hadn't even known it mattered what he thought.

"You know," Garrus purred in his best vigilante, bad ass voice, "if you needed a work out, you should have invited me to the Arena."

I quirked an eyebrow, my mouth twisting into a smirk. "Oh yeah. It would have looked a lot less scandalous when I sept your ass across the arena floors."

"Presumptuous human. Very presumptuous. You remember who I am?" He winked.

"You remember who I am?" Shoving his shoulder, I laughed then winced as my arm protested. "Commander bruised Shepard apparently." Rubbing my shoulder I sighed. "Damn but I'm getting old and boring Vakarian."

"We can only hope," Garrus purred, his hand taking me by the bruised arm, talons slowly rubbing into the sore muscle. "Come inside Jane. I brought medigel."

Settling into his side, I let him guide me back inside. "Who brings medigel to an intervention?"

"I do. Whenever I come to see you."

"Smart ass."

"Oh yeah." He winked. "My ass is very smart."

Groaning, I let him lead me to the kitchen counter. "That's not how that human saying goes."

But you know, his ass WAS pretty damn smart. And I was just realizing that.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	7. The Runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Transitions can sometimes be hard to handle, even for reasoned renegades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting deeper into Shakarian. Because yeah. About time.

I hated his visor. Not always. In battle it made him faster, sharper, deadlier. Here in the world of corporate sharks, political intrigue and concealed possibilities, it was an advantage.

If he hadn't been Garrus Vakarian, I would have drafted an official demanded. But I digress.

I really hate that thing.

Being a woman of violence and action, the realization that I was acclimatizing to my new role was like ice in my veins. A part of me clung to the solider. She had more armor. And it was idiotic when I realized why I needed armor now more than ever.

I thought I'd grow tired of the Councilor gig. I also thought the pencil pushing would grate on my nerves. That the slow easy sprawl of my office would suffocate me.

It did. And then it didn't.

There weren't many reasons for it – there was one.

I ,really, REALLY hated that thing.

Garrus was lounging on one of the sofas as we discussed the intel we'd received from salve traders on Omega. Aria had sent a floating, deactivated crate of Batarian slavers all stamped and wrapped. Predictably, the Asari Councilor had wanted to sweep it under the rug. But the Batarian had begrudgingly agreed to investigate the matter himself. I had glared at him until he relented.

"What exactly did you do to my warlord? The last time on Omega, you must have done some serious ass kicking, or kissing, to be in her good graces."

Raising an eyebrow from where I leaned against my desk, data pad in my hand, I snorted. "Your warlord?"

"Two names were spoken with much reverence on that reprobate rock." Garrus grinned, his teeth glimmering in the late afternoon glow of the make-shift sun outside my window.

"Aria and Nyreen?" I batted my lashes at him and handed the signed pad to Laila who hid a smile. She and I had become somewhat easier. I didn't hate her need to point out what I missed, deliberately or otherwise. She had learned to see past my mouth. It did seem to say the worst, most vile things. Unless he was around. Oh the horribly pink and fluffy implications of it all. Damn you Vakarian.

"Oh harsh." Garrus put a hand on his chest and took a lamenting breath. He also held up his pad as Laila passed him on her way out of my office. Aria was dealt with and Laila was used to finding the Turian Councilor often working from my couch. But she smiled at him as she went. And to my horror, I saw him wink back at her. Something heated in my blood and I glared at his ability to charm anything on two legs. Hmmm. Well anything with legs.

"You're just like yanking my chord human."

"Chain."

"Oooh." His eyes suddenly caught blue mischievous fire. "Naughty Jane. Right here in the office?"

It was an instant. Like a struck match. An imploding star. A mass relay jump. A blink. A breath.

My throat ran dry, my mouth parted and my office swirled out into a vortex to replace the image of one Garrus Vakarian splayed out on my sofa. One long powerful arm pulled up, links of gold coiled around his wrist. Talons cutting into the black cowhide of my cushions. Head thrown back, mandibles flared, my name caught between a growl and a plea. Pale metal plates under soft suede hide, bare, shining with sweat, shifting, adjusting as I stroked, squeezed…teased…

"Jane?"

Snapped out of the vision, I jumped and my breath left me in a cracked curse.

Garrus had gone still, his visor the only thing alive and screaming silently in the room.

The forces of change hit me like a ton of bricks.

I would always remember the exact moment I wanted Garrus Vakarian and I realized now – he damned well knew it too.

__________________________

"I can't find her."

"Come on T'Soni you're the damned Shadowbroker. That's just insulting," Garrus snarled low and agitated as walked from the skycar to the café he and Shepard frequented.

The Asari huffed into his earpiece. "Obstinate Turian! Did you not hear me! I said I can't find her!"

Blue eyes darting around the sparse eatery, Garrus paused when her words registered. "You mean for me."

"Of course! I AM the Shadowbroker."

Shoulders slumping a little, Garrus sighed. "Did she tell you not to tell me?"

"Honestly Garrus, you have no idea where she might be?"

"No!" Throwing up his arms, uncaring that a few eyes followed the perturbed Turian Councilor as he stomped through the presidium. An interesting sight indeed. "I came in today to find out she took a day off, Laila and I've been pinging her all morning to confirm next week's meeting with the Female clan head on Tuchanka. She had hydrotherapy with Dr. Mohsin in the afternoon, the man seems to think I waylaid her. I swear why does everyone think I'm the one who did something?"

The Shadowbroker was very silent and Garrus' feet smoked to a stop before he could get back into his skycar. "Liara?"

Silence.

Teeth grinding together, Garrus let out a rather threatening growl. "What does she think I did?"

"Oh stop it, you know. In her office."

Startled at the answer to his non-verbal coercion he blinked, mandibles fluttering out in surprise. "Her office?"

"When you found out," Liara's voice was hesitant. Almost unhappy with what it was revealing.

"I swear, no matter your species, your gender will never make sense to me."

"Oh stop it! Your gender seems to be oblivious to what's staring you right in their faces. Don't you remember when you were teasing her?"

"Uh…."

"Garrus!"

"T'Soni!"

The Asari took a deep fortifying breath and explained (or tried to) while he hyperventilated into an early heart-attack. "You were wearing your visor when you made that…uh…allusion to the…ahem…chains."

"What does that have to do with…" Brain back-peddling, events flashing before his vision, he scowled in frustration. Damn these women and their riddles. Liara was just as bad as Shepard at being straight…forward…with… "Oh."

"Yeah 'OH'! Your visor picked up her vitals when she realized she…uh. Well you know."

Running a hand over his face plates, Garrus prayed for patience as he dragged much needed calm back into his bones. "Liara…"

"What?"

"My visor has been telling me she's turned on by my teasing for years now."

"WHAT!?"

Laughter burning in his gut, Garrus didn't think either woman would appreciate his humor on the situation. "Ahem. So uh…how about you patch me into her omnitool and I hack my way in? You will be absolved."

There was a moment of silence then. "Done. And Garrus?"

"Yes Liara?"

"I think it's best you don't tell her about…"

"Contrary to popular belief, our gender is not suicidal. Thanks Liara." Rolling his eyes, he sat into the skycar and his omnitool flared to life. It was a good thing being around Shepard meant his hacking skills were top notch.

Where he found her though, set his breath to stall. There was no doubt in his mind where this would lead now. Oh spirits.

Shepard was in a high place, with a low boiling point and a sniper rifle.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	8. The Favorite Spot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a renegade runs out of her favorite arsenal, all that's left, is your mouth, your teeth and hell of a lota fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the Kudos. If you enjoyed reading this as much as I liked writing it, drop me a note :) See you soon in more mis-adventures of my favorite Councilors.

I'd called myself all kinds of stupid. But there was no other word for it really. The one person who was my tether, was now going to be awkward, uncomfortable and unhappy because of me. Because I couldn't keep my damned libido in check.

But there was no lying. What I'd suddenly felt for Councilor Garrus Vakarian was nothing short of epic and galaxy-shattering. Because well hey, that's how far we'd gone.

Another string of colorful expletives followed.

The world beyond was darkness. This part of the presidium was still uninhabited. The damage was extensive. I'd flown my skycar around on a whim. And sure enough it was still there. His favorite place on the Citadel.

Illuminated in the low beam of my skycar, I had managed to lean against a fallen palling, a few lopsided crates supporting my back as I stared out into the darkness. The one afternoon of target practice running like a mantra in my mind. If only I'd known what I know now. I would have saved…

Orange light flared on my wrist and I blinked down in shock. Who…

My heart both sank and gave a little lurch when I saw exactly who had managed to find me. With a groan, I flicked open the channel and glared into his orange tinted spikey self. "Did you just hack into my omnitool Vakarian."

"Uh…yeah."

"How did that lecture go? Oh yeah, you're a _councilor_ now."

"Do shut up Jane." I felt more than heard the laughter in his flanging voice as he narrowed those blue eyes at me. "Are you alone?"

"No."

I watched with some heinous satisfaction as he floundered for a moment then seemed to hone in on me suspiciously. "Who's the unlucky bastard?"

"Jack Daniels."

There was a spurt of startled laughter before he cleared his throat. "Ah…then perhaps I shouldn't come up and disturb you two."

I frowned into the darkness and sure enough there was another source of light somewhere beneath the structure I was holed up on. And like the rising human reaper we'd defeated before, he slowly and ominously slid up into view, ogling me from inside the skycar.

Grunting, I shielded my eyes and flicked off my omnitool. My fellow councilor slowly maneuvered his car around to park on a study section before the door hissed open and he came out. Dressed in his Councilor garb as usual, I saw that he looked a lot more harried than usual. A sick little part of me was happy he probably had to go searching for me. Another saner, lets renegade part of me wanted to reach out and sooth him.

His fringe was stiff, his mandibles tight against his jaw, the jacket open around his carapace, a crisp white shirt hanging a tad lopsided over his pants. Even though I didn't know much about Turian fashion, I could tell the look was pretty damn sexy on him.

_Focus_ , my inner soldier commanded as Garrus came to stand beside me, the lights on his skycar finally going down. "You're intruding."

"Huh. Never minded before. Buuut," he chuckled low and rumbling, "I did kick your ass here. Interesting place to pick." I saw him sit on the crate to my right, his thigh nearly touching my shoulder, one open talon on his opposite knee as he slid the behind me, his thumb ghosting over my nape.

A shiver went through me and I saw the blue flicker of his visor. Lifting my head up in my best Shepard Commander glower, I spoke through gritted teeth. "Take that thing off."

"Come on Jane…"

If I'd been anyone else, I would have demanded. But I had leapt, one hand wrapping around his headpiece with the speed of a viper and yanked it off. Now Garrus is no novice. My attack although successful didn't manage to make its inevitable retreat. His rough, thick talons caught my wrist, his other arm snaking around my waist and pulled.

Balance shifting, I realized the error of my strategy with belated lament as I was flattened against his carapace without further ceremony. And the spiral of bawdy images and ragged breath began. _Well fuck._ I was an idiot.

I could tell he'd been startled by my assault, his own muscles reacting on reflex, but when his brain caught up with just how close I was pressed against him, my breath wafting across his mouth plates, Garrus Vakarian sighed. Or moaned. Or whispered my name. I couldn't tell because everything around me had caught fire.

"Let go of me," I rasped, light breaking out behind my eyes, fingers clawing as the freight of all I'd denied seem to build to a hurtling speed inside me.

"Jane," the Turian hoped for calm as he gently began, his fingers flexing on my wrist and waist. Then he felt the jerk of my bones, stubborn and unrelenting. Afraid. He switched gears and yanked the rug out from under me. Mouth widening into a toothy, shit-eating grin, he stole my breath completely as he leaned his head closer, nose pressing into mine. "Let go of the visor."

Blood ignited, I refused to avert my nearly cross-eyes gaze. "I'm warning you Garrus."

"I'm reminding you Jane," he purred and the vibration of it pulled more quakes from my frame. "I'm not Alenko."

Streams of colorful curses abundant, I think I head-butted him. Either way, amid cries of surprise, fury and laughter (mostly his!), Garrus and I went over the crate in a heap of tangled limbs. Struggling, hoping to refine my hold on him, I keened inwardly when I realized my bones and muscles didn't respond as they once had before the Reapers dropped the entire Citadel on me. Grunting and still spewing curses, I screamed bloody murder when Garrus easily maneuvered me under him, both my wrists wrapped in one big hand, his grip unrelenting as was the press of his hips against mine and ankles pinned under harder, longer limbs. Damn his reach!

The visor was still in my grip. Take that you big, bully, sexy-voiced dinosaur!

"Really? Dinosaur?" I glared when I realized my inner monologue had also found its way among the many colorful names I'd already been calling him. Too angry to speak, too turned on, too everything, I ducked forward and snapped my teeth at him. Garrus Vakarian only laughed, his eyes full of something warm and teasing. Like thick, sweet molasses. "Sexy-voiced, hmmmm?"

A wild, careening thing seemed to ricochet through my bones and settled low in my belly. Warming, roiling and definitely wanting. "I've called you worse names!"

"Oh I heard them all." Astoundingly enough, the dinosaur in question completely ignored my spitting, biting threat and nuzzled his nose with me. The act was so out of left field that for a breath-stealing second, I just lay there in a stunned heap. "With you sweetheart, I've learned to filter what I don't need."

Mouth parting more at the endearment than his clear disregard, I realized why I was so off-balance lately.

The truth was simple: the balance had shifted.

I wasn't Commander Shepard Soldier Extraordinaire out to save the world. He wasn't Rookie C-Sec looking to prove himself either. And it was then that I realized why I was here with Garrus and not anyone else. Of all my people, he had come such a long way. Made so much of himself. Made me so incredibly proud of all he'd weathered and persevered.

The stupid visor was just an excuse. It wasn't that it gave him an advantage. It was that it scared the shit out of me. I had no shields where this Turian was concerned.

"Jane?"

Teeth grinding together, I realized I'd drifted off into my own head. His hands were gentler, as was his sexy voice. The soft breath that wafted across my temple was endearing. Tender and so very accepting. That alone made my breath hitch. "Get off me."

"Are you going to avoid?" I scowled up at him, his smirk didn't falter. "You've tried biting me already. That's all that's left in your arsenal."

I put up one last struggle and cried out in frustrated anger. It sounded more like a whine. "Is this fun for you?"

"Oh yeah. I do like a fighting spirit in my women."

Everything tingly pooled between my legs and I gasped my eyes going glassy. "Is this your way of pissing on your property?"

Garrus threw back his head and laughed, but when his eyes came down they were full of the one emotion I had the worst time with. I just didn't know what to do with love.

"Let me show you the possibilities."

Dammit, I said that out loud as well.

"`Fraid so. Jane?" This time, there was a clear warning the way he spoke my name. It sent up every red flag I'd ever put up against being vulnerable. "Take a deep breath."

"Wha!" My eyes widened at the feral snarl that preceded him diving forward and kissing the living daylights out of me.

And despite our fit. Despite all the differences between our species, one thing translated perfectly.

I want you. I love you. Shut up and kiss me back.

If I'd thought he'd be gentle, I was wrong. Hell, those claws sent my skin screaming for more. And that sleek wet tongue did things to my mouth I would never be able to think clearly about. For all his lack of lips, the Turian branded every inch of my lips, teeth and tongue. There might have been an instance my tongue slicked too close to the sharp edges of his teeth, but I will not lie. Nothing seemed more important.

My fingers weaved through the spikes of his crest, edging and pushing into the rough hide of his neck. Pulling, divesting him of coat, shirt and everything in the way.

The visor skidded away a few feet and blinked off.

Somewhere across the galaxy an Asari cut off the feed, her cheeks tinged with a hue of lavender. _Well! About time really._

THE END


End file.
